A Little Mess, a Lot of Insight: Reframing Our Money “Mistakes”
The other day, I was baking cookies with my nieces. Everything was going great…until it wasn’t.
I meant to turn off the mixer—but instead, I accidentally turned it up. And just like that, flour exploded everywhere. On the counter. On the floor. On us.
My first instinct? Embarrassment and guilt. I felt terrible about making a mess and wasting ingredients, and immediately apologized to my sister-in-law.
But then I heard my nieces laughing—really laughing. My five-year-old niece said it was the "best time of her life." She has retold that story several times since, always with a huge smile. That messy moment became the highlight of their day.
That’s when it hit me: the exact same experience can be viewed in completely different ways.
To me, it was a messy mistake.
To them, it was pure joy and silliness.
The Power of Reframing
Now, I know money challenges can feel a whole lot heavier than a flour-covered kitchen. But that baking mishap reminded me just how powerful it can be to step back and see things differently—even when they’re messy.
We often look at financial situations—like going into debt, blowing our budgets, or impulsively spending—and immediately label them as mistakes. But when we pause and shift our perspective, we can uncover a deeper understanding.
Too often, we spend time and energy beating ourselves up over things we think we "shouldn't" have done, without seeing the full picture.
Let me share a few of my own financial “mistakes” that became clearer once I reframed them.
My Own Financial Reframes
I've certainly had these moments myself.
There’s more than one item collecting dust in my closet, bought impulsively because the need felt urgent at the time.
Another time, I enrolled in a $500 online course about building an email list. While I gained a few useful tips, I later realized I’d signed up out of stress. I was anxious about growing my business and thought the course would magically solve everything. In doing so, I overlooked the resources I already had. Initially, I felt regret—but looking back, I understand what I was really trying to do: meet a need, solve a problem, and create a sense of momentum.
Now, let's explore how this reframing strategy could apply to some common financial situations you might be facing.
What’s Really Behind Those Money “Mistakes”?
How does the idea of reframing apply to your life?
Maybe it’s the debt you're carrying, causing feelings of guilt or shame. But pause and consider: what did that money enable you to do?
Often, the spending that leads to debt stems from deeply personal or necessary decisions—covering medical expenses, paying for college, or providing something crucial for your kids. When you zoom out, you might realize you weren't being irresponsible—you were meeting a need, solving a problem, or caring for someone you love.
Or perhaps you've experienced moments when you overspent versus your budget and labeled yourself "bad with money" or lacking self-control. But pause again: what were you really feeling in those moments?
Sometimes, that impulse purchase or late-night takeout wasn't about the item itself. It was about stress, anxiety, or exhaustion—an attempt to fulfill an emotional need. And though it may not have been a long-term solution, you gained something in that moment. Real growth happens when you stop criticizing yourself long enough to understand what was truly driving that decision.
Once we've recognized what's truly behind our financial choices, we can start shifting from shame toward genuine insight and compassion.
From Shame to Insight
Reframing doesn't mean pretending everything’s fine or ignoring the real impacts of your financial choices. It means offering yourself the same compassion you’d give a friend.
If your best friend were in your situation, would you call them irresponsible or a failure—or would you remind them that they're human, doing the best they can?
Chances are, you're talking to yourself in ways you'd never speak to someone you love.
When you reframe your financial decisions from a viewpoint of curiosity and learning instead of judgment, your perspective shifts:
Instead of “I’m terrible with money,” try: "I wasn't taught about money, but I'm capable of learning how to manage it better."
Instead of “I blew my budget,” try: "Having a budget and recognizing overspending is progress. I can find strategies to manage spending better next time."
Instead of “I’m embarrassed by my debt,” try: "That debt helped me navigate a tough time. I can now make steady progress paying it off and avoid similar situations in the future."
Just like the flour explosion, your messy money moments aren't always failures. They're simply life. And sometimes, they lead to laughter, learning, or growth—if you're willing to see them through a different lens.
✍️ Quick Reflection
Think about a money "mistake" that's been weighing on you.
Ask yourself:
What benefit did I gain from this experience?
What can I learn from it?
What would I say to my best friend in this situation?
💬 I'd Love to Hear From You
After reflecting, is there a money "mistake" that looks different now? Maybe something you've been hard on yourself about that you now see in a new light?
Drop a comment below—I’d love to hear what insights you discovered.
